


Cleaning

by ZodiacWolf13



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anime Spoilers, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Gen, I just want them to be okay, I spell his name Bertholdt sorry, I think they would get along, Kinda, Spoilers, non-cannon backstory, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 12:27:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8750944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZodiacWolf13/pseuds/ZodiacWolf13
Summary: Bertholdt is dragged by Hanji to their lab where they more or less force him to help clean, as it's long overdue. In the process they have a small chat about things and Bertholdt finds his resolve to finish the mission starting to waver.





	

Bertholdt had been setting boxes of supplies down when Hanji’s excited form came eagerly bounding into the supply room. He barely had time to turn around to face the door frame in an attempt to see who had come stamping in so suddenly.

“Ah-ha! Bertholdt?” they beamed, quickly closing the short distance between them and grabbing onto his arm. Bertholdt tried to stammer something in response but Hanji was already speaking again. “For the life of me I cannot find anyone else around here,” they started to pull him with her out of the room, boots hitting the stone floor in such rapidity Bertholdt thought they may have been running. “I have been told that you are reliable, a bit on the shy and quiet side, but reliable. Moblit is off running errands for me and I need a bit of a hand.” She explained continuing to pull him along the corridors of the castle.

“H-Help? With what?” Bertholdt finally managed to ask. Hanji started ascending a flight of stairs. “Oh well, my laboratory is, to say the least, untidy. Normally that kind of condition would be fine to work in but it’s starting to get unreasonable. So, at the behest of Levi and Erwin, I’m going to clear it out.” They stated matter of factly. “Then when it’s done I’ll be able to perform experiments again!” they all but cooed, colour coming to their face. She stopped afront a wooden door with a slightly crooked handle and let Bertholdt inside.

To say the place was ‘untidy’ was as much as an understatement as saying that the Colossal Titan was ‘kind of tall’.

Papers strewn everywhere, desks and tables cluttered with vials, apparatus, tools, more papers, boxes, ink bottles, pens, clipboards, even more papers, books and what looked to be several unwashed cups. Bertholdt had never been inside Hanji’s lab, but he’d heard Eren complain about having to go up there enough. “Well...I suppose Captain Levi wouldn’t be caught dead in here huh?” Bertholdt said quietly. He heard Hanji chuckle as they stepped forward and looked down onto one of the several cluttered tables. “Ah, well, I had originally enlisted Levi’s help but he was rather adamant about me cleaning up my own mess for once,” they admitted smiling only a little sheepishly. “I tried to find someone to help me but people either refused or seemed to be hiding from me.” they laughed and began picking papers from the floor. Bertholdt bent down to join the Squad Leader, and after a minute or so of peering around the room asked “Uhm, Squad Leader?” Hanji gave him a short dismissive hand wave “Hanji,” they corrected him. “You’re part of Levi’s Squad, right? (He nodded) So then; just Hanji, besides.” they heaved a, relatively neat, pile of papers onto the corner of a desk. “We’re not on the battlefield right now, being casual is a luxury we often forget.” Bertholdt chuckled a little. “This is very much a battlefield, Squad -er, Hanji,” He quipped. Hanji laughed lightly and softly patted the tall boy’s arm. “Behave, Bertholdt. Oh, you wanted to ask me something right?” Bertholdt nodded and holding an armful of torn pieces of paper to his chest asked where the trash bin was. Hanji explained that they had no actual bin but a small upturned supply crate in the corner would suffice.

The pair continued on in comfortable silence for the next few hours, only broken by the occasional “Where does this go?” or “What’s this?” the latter would be followed usually by an excited and long winded explanation of the various scientific apparatus that Hanji seemed to own. Lengthy explanation or not, Bertholdt intently listened to the whole lecture, every time, taking in the parts that he needed and wanted to remember. After the third or so in depth answer Hanji smiled warmly at him. “You know, you’re actually a very good listener, Bertholdt,” Bertholdt felt his cheeks heat up a little, he didn’t get complimented all that often. “T-Thank you.” He placed some books on the now clear of clutter shelf that he had been working on. “My dad always made sure I knew how to listen properly,” he lamented quietly. Hanji perked at that, finishing organizing a drawer in their main desk. “Oh? You make it sound sad,” they remarked, closing the drawer and turning to look at him, a steak of curiosity across their face. Bertholdt started to sweat, he really wished he hadn’t said that, he almost never brought up his parents to anyone, save for Annie and Reiner. Bertholdt opted for silence. Good reliable silence, it never let him down. “If you don’t want to talk about it that’s fine,” Hanji spoke after a few moments of tense quiet

Bertholdt sighed softly, “Sorry, It’s just...,” he trailed off unsure of where he was going with this. He had some mixed feelings on his parents and talking about it was hardly helpful. He supposed he was just pent up, so he let his mouth continue without really thinking about it, more focused on the comfortable silence they had shared earlier, the same sort of quiet Bertholdt enjoyed with Reiner. “My Dad was, well, sort of strange,” He said, trying not to let much slip as he continued placing books on shelves, he could feel Hanji looking at his back and tried to ignore it as he continued, keeping his tone neutral. “We weren’t really close, I suppose. I just wanted his approval y’know? Wanted to show him I wasn’t just weak little ‘Bertl’,” the nickname left a foul taste on his tongue, Reiner was the only one who could call him that. He stopped stocking shelves when he felt a hand touch his shoulder, he eyed Hanji who smiled at him. “Look at all this!” She crooned gesturing to the room they had worked for several hours in, now mostly free of clutter with cleaned surfaces and neat desks and meticulously arranged equipment. “This was a task for only the bravest, hell “Humanities Strongest Soldier” ducked out of this one, ‘weak little Bertl’ wouldn’t have even made it this far.” The gesture and implication were not lost on him, and for the first time in a long time, Bertholdt smiled genuinely. They gave his back a reassuring pat before declaring “Right, well we have worked miracles in here, so I’m gonna go an get some tea, you interested?” Bertholdt nodded, smile still gracing his lips. He watched the Squad Leader leave the room, and he sat down on a nearby chair. A pang of pity stabbed at his gut, Hanji hardly knew him but had been nothing but pleasant thus far, but they were also a resident of the damned walls. He closed his eyes and furrowed his brows, a conversation he had with his father played in the back of his head.

_“Are they evil?”_

_“Are who evil, Bertl?”_

_“The humans, the ones behind the walls.”_

_“There’s no evil, not really. Most of them are blissfully ignorant honestly, you can’t call ignorance evil.”_

_“Then why do they say that...”_

_“Ignorance may not be evil but it’s worse in so many ways. The ignorant have no choice in the matter, nor the inclination that something may be wrong. Ignorance is no excuse, it’s a sad state of existence really, and best to be dealt with.”_

He shook his head, his father's voice was not one he wanted to hear at the moment. He would hear it when they returned, victorious, and then he would happily hear it. Hanji came back fairly quickly, tray in hand. Bertholdt offered them a hand but they refused cheerfully and set the tray down, setting out the two cups and saucers, a small pot of honey and a small jug of milk along with a plain looking teapot. “I didn’t know how you took your tea so I grabbed milk and honey anyway,” they smiled at him, pouring out the drink into the cups. Bertholdt thanked them and poured a little honey into the tea and contentedly sipped at it. The conversation his 8 year-old self and his father had still rattled around in the back of his head. He put his cup down into its saucer and looked over to Hanji, who was sitting across from him at the other side of the desk on another small supply crate.

“Hanji?” Bertholdt said, catching Hanji’s mahogany eyes with his own grey-green ones. The Squad Leader hmm’d in response “Why...Why do you do all this research? What compels it all?” Bertholdt gestured around the lab to help emphasise his point. Hanji put her cup down and looked thoughtful for a moment. “Well,” They started. “There’s an old phrase “Know thine Enemy” that’s always sort of resonated with me.” The bespectacled one looked into her teacup with a faint frown, as if the cup itself was supposed to have answers within it, but only served to disappoint her. “Besides, humanity has been kept behind these walls in a state of blissful ignorance. My brother used to say that ignorance, is the worst thing, second only to wickedness. I s’pose the long and short of it is that I think that if we were to keep living in ignorance of our enemies, then we’ll never win. Continued ignorance will only lead to more people being slaughtered without real meaning, all because we chose to stay in ignorance.”

_“Can’t they be taught?”_

_“What?”_

_“If they’re ignorant, can’t they be taught, so that they’re not ignorant?”_

_“...Some maybe. It depends; ignorance has a habit of closing off a person's ears, but some might be willing to listen.”_

Bertholdt tried to ignore it. Maybe Reiner was right and he did spend too much time in his own head. After their tea Hanji told him that they would be finishing the rest of the laboratory cleaning tomorrow, but that he was more than welcome to come by and help, should he feel inclined. He thanked them for the tea, then went to continue his day, trying to ignore the thoughts swirling around his head. He would go and see Hanji again tomorrow, and vowed to do his utmost to not get involved, it was hard enough as it was, he didn’t need or want another soul to feel guilty for.

_“Make a plan and stick to it, Bertl. Change it if need be but don’t get too off course.”_

_“What if it gets really hard though?”_

_“Trust me when I say it’ll only be harder to go off plan. You need to be strong enough to do this.”_

_“Okay, I promise, sir.”_

Bertholdt stopped in his tracks jest at the bottom of the staircase. He sighed, resigning himself to his own head again for the remainder of the day and softly whispering to no one in particular.

  
“Sorry, sir. It’s just so difficult.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, if you made it this far; congrats on reading my first (probably pretty shitty) fanfic! Honestly I've wanted to post something for a while and after I wrote this I ended up liking it. I just want Bertl back, honestly. 
> 
> Well is you liked this let me know! I may have more to add to it, tell me I'm not the only one interested in how these two would act together?


End file.
